How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
