It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
