but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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