They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
