Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
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there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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