How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
