if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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