More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
