You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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