i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
