She is in my trunk
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
