Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
