We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize