woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
