god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
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Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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