i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
