my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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