You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
