Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
