There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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