if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
