that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
