I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
did you just send me my own nude
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
