Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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