Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
