she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
