did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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