Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
