So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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