i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
