were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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