he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
