I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
