That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Mom said you looked used
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
