That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
