She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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