Got a toothbrush?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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