I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
