I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize