she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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