I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
