Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
