Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
