Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize