Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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