garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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