You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
