Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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