take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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