can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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