their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
