Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
