My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
