so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
