Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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