your room smells of hookers.
And success
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
