Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize