Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
