hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
