I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
