your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
