seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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